i went to the mall to do stuff and wanted to try on some sweaters and asked the clerk where the fitting rooms were. and this dude instantly had this quite severe sort of - disappointed stern adult look about him as he pointed me there. like, he was very sort of clean and clean shaven and had a fitted sweater and everything. and i had a hat and a beard and longish hair and i’m a young guy so like yeah i guess but still i mean dude - you work at the macy’s, wtf am i supposed to be wearing to shop at a store and speak to you?
No, when push comes to shove, it is an option.
I have a beautiful, beautiful example, too.
I was visiting Burlington, Vermont to see a friend in the summer of 2011. I had tried some local burritos and drank at local breweries, and I was hungover. My friend and I rode bikes in the bike path.
Suddenly, I had to poop. And not just poop. I drank too much on burritos poop. We rode to the nearest bathroom along the path. There were two bathrooms, a male and female, solo toilet with locking door. Frustratingly, I ended up 2 paces behind so e other guy headed for the bathroom. I was legit clenching to avoid shitting my pants.
Women’s room is open…
Welp, better than my pants or the bushes. And away I shit, splattering the bowl with comical reverberations.
I’m cleaning up, and I get a knock. Uh oh. The jig is up.
I exit to find a young 20-something girl. Mortified. Disgusted. Judging
“What the fuck is a man doing coming out of the women’s bathroom?!” She asked loudly so as to draw attention.
“Well, It was an emergency, an-”
“I don’t care if–”
Now normally, I’m not the kind of person to loudmouth over a Karen, but ooh boy. Something clicked.
-I don’t live here
-she has to use the bathroom
-i don’t
-it smells awful in there, and the seat is nice and toasty
So I interrupt “Ma’am I do not care. Have fun smelling my shit.”
I turned, leaving her stunned, and left to meet my friend to continue our lovely ride down the bike path.
My point is most of life’s uncomfortable situations are this moment in some way of another. Just remember that you don’t have to shit, and the seat is warm.
I wouldn’t say that proves a point.
Do I agree that in that moment you made the best decision? Sure.
Does that invalidate the woman’s feelings of confusion, anger, or anything else? Absolutely not.
Two things can be true at the same time. You did the right thing and your actions caused an emotional response of another human.
Have I never spoken to people like that? Sure I have, I was an insufferable prick when younger.
Do I now realise that you can do the right things and still impact others in negative ways. I like to take the approach of not being the centre of the world and understand that 8B other people are living just as important lives as I am.