I swear, this shit makes it look more complicated than it actually is. In general, I just don’t do to others what I wouldn’t want to be done to me. There. That’s all there is to it. Just don’t be a dick to me and I won’t be a dick to you. Easy.
E.g. My parents love me, but they still have “been dicks” to me my whole life because they don’t understand me, at all.
Their ideology on politics, religion, money, society, on what a kid of theirs should become, etc is so far from what I am and aspire to be that every discussion I have with them leaves me saddened.
Out of love for them, to please them, I refrain from outing my inner thoughts, my real desires. My parents get another version of me when I visit them. I want them to be happy, yet I am not. But I need them, because I’m kind of alone. I have this urge to please them.
If I had kids, I’d wish to talk to their real selves, not a stoic version of their take on my perception of what a good kid of mine should be. Blahh.
Sometimes being a dick is not searching to understand others.
Being a dick is also not telling others who you really are.
I don’t think you’re being a dick by being considerate of your parents. In fact, that shows that you still care for them, despite everything. But at some point you’ll probably have to carefully tell your parents how you really feel.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone/anything, your mental health is more important than anyone else’s approval. If they actually love you, they’ll get over it. But if they love the idea of you more than the actual you, then I think it would be completely normal to cut them out of your life, until they come to terms with it. Even if it hurts at first. That’s what I’d do, at least.
Also, I get what being lonely is, believe me. At some point I got so sick of it that I went out and joined different hobby groups, even went to a few events that people join specifically to find new friends.
If you do that long enough, eventually you’ll find people who’ve had similar experiences to you, and who you really get along with, who will also want to hang out with you. That at least worked for me.
I like how “don’t be a dick” is downvoted. In a functional society you’re taught what “don’t being a dick” means to such a nuanced degree that defining it should be difficult.
Anyways this meme’s got serious “and then everybody clapped” vibes.
Yeah, I agree with you. I mostly just got pissed on how it started talking about a “social contract”. Like, there’s no need to make something simple complicated.
So what I’m getting at is that it’s a limited moral guide, at least when taken by itself. There’s clearly things other people enjoy that I don’t, but I can still use sympathy to understand that they enjoy it, and I might choose to help them in the process.
I swear, this shit makes it look more complicated than it actually is. In general, I just don’t do to others what I wouldn’t want to be done to me. There. That’s all there is to it. Just don’t be a dick to me and I won’t be a dick to you. Easy.
What if you don’t know how NOT to be a dick?
E.g. My parents love me, but they still have “been dicks” to me my whole life because they don’t understand me, at all.
Their ideology on politics, religion, money, society, on what a kid of theirs should become, etc is so far from what I am and aspire to be that every discussion I have with them leaves me saddened.
Out of love for them, to please them, I refrain from outing my inner thoughts, my real desires. My parents get another version of me when I visit them. I want them to be happy, yet I am not. But I need them, because I’m kind of alone. I have this urge to please them.
If I had kids, I’d wish to talk to their real selves, not a stoic version of their take on my perception of what a good kid of mine should be. Blahh.
Sometimes being a dick is not searching to understand others.
Being a dick is also not telling others who you really are.
I don’t think you’re being a dick by being considerate of your parents. In fact, that shows that you still care for them, despite everything. But at some point you’ll probably have to carefully tell your parents how you really feel.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone/anything, your mental health is more important than anyone else’s approval. If they actually love you, they’ll get over it. But if they love the idea of you more than the actual you, then I think it would be completely normal to cut them out of your life, until they come to terms with it. Even if it hurts at first. That’s what I’d do, at least.
Also, I get what being lonely is, believe me. At some point I got so sick of it that I went out and joined different hobby groups, even went to a few events that people join specifically to find new friends.
If you do that long enough, eventually you’ll find people who’ve had similar experiences to you, and who you really get along with, who will also want to hang out with you. That at least worked for me.
I like how “don’t be a dick” is downvoted. In a functional society you’re taught what “don’t being a dick” means to such a nuanced degree that defining it should be difficult.
Anyways this meme’s got serious “and then everybody clapped” vibes.
Yeah, I agree with you. I mostly just got pissed on how it started talking about a “social contract”. Like, there’s no need to make something simple complicated.
What if the person likes being flogged and I don’t?
They can always just not flog you. Just because they like something doesn’t mean that they HAVE to do the same to others.
And if they asked me to flog them because they like it, I personally would also not do that, as it would make me uncomfortable.
So what I’m getting at is that it’s a limited moral guide, at least when taken by itself. There’s clearly things other people enjoy that I don’t, but I can still use sympathy to understand that they enjoy it, and I might choose to help them in the process.
I see. Yes, I agree with that.