• Milx@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    80
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    1 year ago

    Two people both wanting to cancel, forcing themselves to go to something neither of them want to be at, is truly the backbone of society.

    • psivchaz@reddthat.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      41
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 year ago

      When you phrase it like that, it sounds ridiculous. But for me, social events are a lot like going to the gym. It makes me anxious, I don’t want to do it, I find reasons to avoid it, and then I’m glad I did it.

      It’s hard working up the motivation. It’s easy to make excuses. Ultimately, it’s good for my physical and mental well-being to get out of the house and see people. Having another way to weasel out of it guilt-free would be a net negative on my life for sure.

      • Milx@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        21
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        This is a really interesting take because the majority of negative reactions to this post are “why would anyone need this just cancel you coward don’t you know how to talk to people” while yours is “yes I understand the point and would want to use this if it existed, therefore it must not exist because it’s bad for me” lmao

        • shastaxc@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          Yep same here. Taking the easy and lazy way every time will result in a lonely and unhealthy existence.

    • D1G17AL@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      17
      arrow-down
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      I mean, they could both have a little more backbone themselves and actually say to each other, “Oh wait. I don’t actually want to go out today. Maybe we can plan something in the future. Have a good night/day/whatever.” That’s simply too much to ask though I guess.

        • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          1 year ago

          No you don’t, you just do it because you said you would and the other expects you to

          • Milx@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            5
            ·
            1 year ago

            Well the important thing is that you’re here to tell me I’m wrong about what I do and don’t want.

            You may not have any nuance when it comes to whether or not you want to do things, I get it, kind of. A lot of people here seem to be very black and white about either you want to or you don’t and really can’t wrap their head around the idea that others have shades of gray and conditions that can effect whether or not they want to go.

            • this_is_router@feddit.de
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              1
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Good answer. I like these thoughtful responses and I agree with you on the matter

              Sometimes you want to meet only when you know the other one really wants to meet too. And sometimes you don’t want to go, but as soon as you arrive, you are glad you did it. Life is not just black and white

                • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
                  link
                  fedilink
                  arrow-up
                  1
                  ·
                  1 year ago

                  It’s not literal you in this case, it’s you (as in me). Not sure how to explain it otherwise. You were talking about how “you do this” and I don’t think you meant that literally, same with my reply. Do you get it?

    • Neato@kbin.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      7
      ·
      1 year ago

      I’ve met a lot of friends and found a bunch of hobbies by forcing myself to go to something I didn’t think i wanted to go to, or was too nervous to attend because I was afraid of canceling.

      • Milx@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        arrow-down
        6
        ·
        1 year ago

        Then you’d never cancel and this would be irrelevant to you