Xanax was something like 2mg, lexotan 2.5 mg i suppose, and a glass of strong wine… I am feeling really relaxed, like nothing matters and sleepy, but am I really in danger?
It’s hard to walk straight and I kinda am forgetting what I am doing along the way… Yesterday evening I also took another 2mg of xanax and then smoke DMT which did nothing except make me more aware of the mess I was living in.
I don’t think I care if I die but I just don’t want to suffer
Update 1: added another 15 drops of lexotan, it’s kinda getting hard keeping count, it is 2.5mg/ml, how many drops is an ml? Should I really care? How does respiratory arrest feels like? Will I suffer? Or just fall asleep? I suppose benzos will at least ease out the pain.
Update 2: woke up a couple of hors later, taking more lexotan and see if I can lead myself to tomorrow’s
Thank you so much, the funny thing is that all the year round usually I,'m an healthy freak, hitting the pool 4 times a week, doing yoga and cycling to work everyday, sometimes I run, eat an healthy vegetarian diet…
But as I said if I derail, I derail really a lot and everything gets completely stripped out of me.
I think you can overcome it. It won’t be overnight, but if you give up the drugs and find a community of people living intentionally and trying to improve themselves, you’ll have a lot more tools to live better than you’d have on your own.