• Dinodicchellathicc@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    The guy who shot john Wikes Booth was once solicited by prostitutes. He was so so appalled by his boner that he decided to castrate himself with pinking shears (scissors). He then goes to church and walks it off before seeing a doctor.

    The real sad part is that he was undeniably driven insane by his work as a hat maker. Fur hats were shaped and then brushed with mercury, which led to hat makers getting mercury poisoning from the fumes.

    Basically the poor guy melted his brain, chopped of his balls, enlisted into the union army and was forced to march on a boken leg, killed the most infamous man in the world, and was then locked up in an asylum.