• AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      13 days ago

      Ok, before this becomes another endless comment chain, let’s get one thing out of the way. Most people on this instance do not use the term “incel” for people who are just literally involuntary celibates. We are not into this virgin-shaming BS here, when we say “incel”, we usually mean involuntarily celibate people who are ideologically comitted to incel / manosphere / redpill ideology. If you write that group off as just the “very small fraction of psychopthic forever-misogynists”, you’ve missed the entire point of the argument you just got into.

      If you don’t, i’d genuinely like to know how you get through to these people, because in my experience, they very much can’t be “brought out of it with some guidance and hand-holding”, their entire online cult revolves around inoculating them against any attempt to help them and trust me, i’ve tried that over and over again back when these people didn’t even call themselves incels, but used words like “permavirgin” or “foreveralone” for themselves. If you have found some miracle cure to reach out to actual incels, not just to people who never had a date in their late twenties, but the ones who’ve fallen down the rabbit hole into the incel community, then please share that, i’d honestly like to know.

    • Verenata@hexbear.net
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      13 days ago

      Get a grip.

      Incels didn’t become irrational women hating misogynists because of radicalisation.

      They became incels because that ideology validated their already existing irrational misogyny and they allowed themselves to enter a ideology they should know is extremist because it validated their victim complex and irrational hatred of women.

      That group have ruined women’s lives, people who will never recover from the damage caused by a bunch of self absorbed victim complexes justifying their bigotry with “boohoo i didn’t get the trad wife or a free pass to success i was promised for being born amab” and now you want us to let that shit slide? Not including the fact we worked ten times harder than men, get a job and then incels blame DEI or hiring practises favouring us for why they lost (not our effort or skill) and then hate us even more.

      Lmao how about incels grow the fuck up, address what misogyny lead them into a violent extremist ideology and then and only then when they’ve owned their shitty behaviour can they try to re-enter women’s spaces but by the looks of your comment and everyone else’s y’all would rather cry about how you should be given another chance and how it wasnt your fault vs taking some actual fucking responsibility.

      Ever single “reformed” incel apologises for what they did, what they thought and refuses to accept any personal responsibility for their unhinged misogyny that lead them down that path and then they jump into threads like this and cry about literally the same shit everyone goes through as their justification for it and how they are allowed to be forgiven for their extremism and then have the nerve to be misogynistic and self absorbed proving they literally haven’t addressed shit.

      Cry more. If you irrationally blame women for societies failures don’t act surprised when we don’t trust you in our spaces idiot.

      “PeOpLe DoN’t UnDeRsTaNd InCeLs”

      No, incels don’t understand themselves. People died and had their lives ruined by this ideology, a majority of white male mass shootings are linked with this ideology and we are the ones being judgemental bullies after you demand us (the victims) to forgive and tolerate you?

      Peak fucking entitlement.

      All this thread shows me is that incels feel like the biggest sad victims in the world and that’s so funny when you’ve had every privilege we as women don’t and you still fail and think being an extremist is a fine reaction.

      With a take like this it’s clear your mum had to drop you off and pick you up from school.

        • Verenata@hexbear.net
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          13 days ago

          Lmao says the failson with a literal fascist as their countries leader 🤣

          Hahaha material analysis from the dickhead apologising for a hate group. You are literally chastising women for pushing back at men who abused us forcing themselves into our spaces. The only material analysis you clearly have is the curves on your cum covered anime figurines.

          You will never be able to understand the damage this unhinged main character bs does to women. Never. Yet you tell us we are the judgemental bullies? YOU ARE FORCING US TO EDUCATE OUR ABUSERS YOU DUMB FUCK.

          You are so fucking systemically misogynistic that nobody could explain to you how shit of a take you are.

          Also I’m not a yank, and imagine saying “being mean to misogyinists is why misogynists wont stop being misogynists” and thinking you are a serious human being with a serious “material analysis”.

          🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

            • Verenata@hexbear.net
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              13 days ago

              Sorry pal, usually God awful takes like that present with the above.

              It’s so fucking easy for you to decide women have to play a part in educating our abusers as a man. Dead fucking simple to decide that for us? Have you literally no fucking self awareness.

              Yet again we speak our minds and men ignore us and bulldoze our point with their take on OUR existence.

              There’s several women havs pointed out it’s rooted in misogyny and objectification in this very thread. There are reeeems of theory by women on male violence. Every bit is ignored by people like you cos of some sympathy for extremists.

              Why is it when men misbehave its our job to fix you? Why can’t you fix yourselves?

              Incels and men judging by yourself can not be talked to, will not listen and will never respect us and that’s clear as day by this thread and your insistence that you are right despite being not a woman or an incel.

              Every time any women who literally knows why she rejected an incel tells them why, it’s ignored because they’d rather blame us or apologise for their bad behaviour.

              No it’s men’s job to break through this ingrained misogyny, we as women have tried, incels doubled down. Can’t help those who don’t want to help themselves and certainly not when they abused us.

              • Vritrahan@lemmy.zip
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                13 days ago

                I still feel we are arguing over different things. There are young confused boys who are struggling with life and adulthood and a section of men are telling them that at least a part of their problems is coming from how women behave. Then there’s your middle aged uncle who hits his wife. Two very different groups. The latter cannot be saved, no arguments from me.

                How about we compromise and say that other men use ‘elder brotherly guidance’ and peer pressure to pull them out while women keep their distance from them. Is that acceptable?

                • Verenata@hexbear.net
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                  13 days ago

                  And of those confused young boys only one group choses to blame women and join an extremist group that has killed people because of its views.

                  That’s not normal and it’s not something to be treated like it’s normal. It’s insane.

                  That is literally perfect thank you <3

                  • Vritrahan@lemmy.zip
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                    13 days ago

                    I have helped out quite a few younger men who looked up to me and I did “fix” most of them. I can’t say how much of that was me versus the maturity that comes with age. There are ones I couldn’t, whom I don’t talk to anymore and wouldn’t try again either. But I do believe that a big chunk, if not the majority, can improve because I’ve seen it happen myself.

                    And women can do a lot here if they want. Three girls simultaneously saying “eww” or “that’s very uncool” does way more damage to a young man’s confidence than you realise. You have to let it cook.

                    Reactionary ideologies like these prey on the vulnerable. And we cannot just abandon all vulnerable. They can be communism’s biggest allies because they are usually the most exploited.

      • Hermes [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        14 days ago

        I think a good portion of people here did not read the article. The insults about Destiny’s masculinity are gross, and an example of what the article is talking about.