Agamemnon@lemmy.worldM to AuDHD@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year agoMine got lost in the maillemmy.worldimagemessage-square16fedilinkarrow-up1422arrow-down19file-text
arrow-up1413arrow-down1imageMine got lost in the maillemmy.worldAgamemnon@lemmy.worldM to AuDHD@lemmy.worldEnglish · 1 year agomessage-square16fedilinkfile-text
minus-squareSon_of_dad@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up41arrow-down3·1 year agoTeacher: Welcome to school children, today we will be learning how to do… Kid: our taxes?? Teacher: no, we’re gonna learn outdated modes of counting beans and how to summon Jesus
minus-squareGigglyBobble@kbin.sociallinkfedilinkarrow-up25·1 year ago how to summon Jesus That could be pretty useful if it worked.
minus-squareFuck_u_spez_@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up9·1 year agoMy friendly neighborhood cult megachurch said all I have to do is fork over 15-20% of my income and Believe for a Miracle™.
minus-squarekspatlas@artemis.camplinkfedilinkarrow-up3·1 year agoSummon jesus on top of your enemies to crush them
minus-squareAgamemnon@lemmy.worldOPMlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up2·1 year agoBible literalists: “You must accept jesus into your heart” Interpreted literally: Summon jesus inside your enemies to telefrag them
minus-squareDdhuud@lemmy.worldlinkfedilinkEnglisharrow-up2·1 year agoIt totally works, but only for his godly part, which is for all intents and purposes completely imperceptible.
Teacher: Welcome to school children, today we will be learning how to do…
Kid: our taxes??
Teacher: no, we’re gonna learn outdated modes of counting beans and how to summon Jesus
That could be pretty useful if it worked.
My friendly neighborhood
cultmegachurch said all I have to do is fork over 15-20% of my income and Believe for a Miracle™.Summon jesus on top of your enemies to crush them
Bible literalists: “You must accept jesus into your heart”
Interpreted literally: Summon jesus inside your enemies to telefrag them
It totally works, but only for his godly part, which is for all intents and purposes completely imperceptible.