Is it too late to call in for a replacement?

  • Son_of_dad@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Teacher: Welcome to school children, today we will be learning how to do…

    Kid: our taxes??

    Teacher: no, we’re gonna learn outdated modes of counting beans and how to summon Jesus

      • Fuck_u_spez_@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        My friendly neighborhood cult megachurch said all I have to do is fork over 15-20% of my income and Believe for a Miracle™.

        • Agamemnon@lemmy.worldOPM
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          1 year ago

          Bible literalists: “You must accept jesus into your heart”

          Interpreted literally: Summon jesus inside your enemies to telefrag them

      • Ddhuud@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        It totally works, but only for his godly part, which is for all intents and purposes completely imperceptible.

    • BOMBS@lemmy.worldM
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      1 year ago

      that’s how I do it, but I never get that first rectangle. it still comes out looking okayyy but not nice like the flat sheets.

  • Carighan Maconar@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Fucking fitted sheets! That’s the real issue. Just give up, ball them up, toss’em in there somewhere. They’re stretch anyways so it’s fine if they’re balled up!

    • Ddhuud@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      It’s crazier to know about the number of parents that didn’t even have a copy for themselves.

      • Agamemnon@lemmy.worldOPM
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        1 year ago

        Yes! Never discovered ND-parents:

        ‘this is normal, everyone is like this, encountered problems are definitely because of something else unrelated to [insert neurotype]’

        • BOMBS@lemmy.worldM
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          1 year ago

          “Son, today you’re going through the 2nd lesson of month 27 of the Communist Cuba Adulting Gauntlet. The task is to figure out how to get 15 miles home when your bike has a flat and you have no money or food. You can’t call anyone to pick you up. You can’t ask me any questions, but I’ll be here to make sure you don’t kill yourself…and stop crying. You’re already 12 years old.”

  • BOMBS@lemmy.worldM
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    1 year ago

    that’s why I pulled a pro-gamer move and joined the military. y’all over there trying to figure out how to do your taxes, and I’m over here tax-free on disability 🧠