Just a thought I had, like what can a ten year old do(besides mass murder & accidents) that messes up their life so badly that it is unrecoverable?
It has to be something that is self inflicted and not something that is the cause of others around them.
OP is asking about wrong/bad/poor choices etc, the last sentence of their post specifically says it’s not about situations that are inflicted upon them.
You’re right; those were poor choices by the parents.
Really, the question is more about “When do we stop attributing bad choices to the parent and start attributing them to the child?”
Because babies and toddlers can make lots of stupid decisions.