Atheist. Raised fundamentalist baptist.

Alcoholic. Detoxing myself. Down to roughly two 100 proof shots every 4 hrs during the day. 8 shots in cabonated water last night. Went to bed at 10:30 PM, up at 2:00 AM for two shots. Two shots at 7:30 AM. Lowest I’ve been in at least a year.

Fucking hurts.

  • Machinist@lemmy.worldOP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    11 months ago

    Rough night, slipping in and out of nightmares. Continuing to reduce. Every day less than before. Less sweating and shakes last night.

  • Machinist@lemmy.worldOP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    11 months ago

    Fuck this shit.

    Nobody here much, so I’m just speaking my mind without a care.

    Fucking fuck.

    Ordered a used copy of zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance. Been a while since I read it, and it should be on the shelf. That’s about my only real connection to Buddhism.

    Fuck this hurts. If I don’t kick this I’ll die and I gotta take care of my people.

    Have a son, despite my failings, he’s a really awesome person. Have a wife that’s way better than me. She’s a white buffalo. I don’t know why they love me like they do.

    One hour at a time. Leaning in to the pain. Just another day in hell. Pain is normal.

    Sweating it out. Worry about reasons later.

  • Machinist@lemmy.worldOP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    11 months ago

    No liquor in 24hrs. Natural ice beer. Fucking wretched stuff. 5.9% abv. This shit tastes terrible.

    Woke up in a sweat. Cracking open a warm piss beer sucks.

    Had 12 in the last 24 hrs.

    Climbing down a backwards mountain one shitty beer at a time.

    Medical system sucks. Not going to spend the money for detox. Fuckers. Gotta save the money and get my family out of here.