I’m not a very angry person, I don’t really have it in me to be genuinely pissed most of the time. Sometimes I’ll get irritated, and I can usually kinda DBT my way through it, but honestly I’m really pissed at my ex. The more I think about everything horrible she did and continues doing, the more I kinda spiral into being pissed and it’s not helping me at all but I don’t really know how to decompress all of it. I’m rightfully pissed, she did some truly nuclear shit I’d need content warnings for, and having that anger is healthy at some level. But like I said, I need to get my mind off this shit so I don’t become a bitter divorced dad lol
I came to a realization that my anger is mostly a useless emotion, it was hurting me, not the things I was mad at. I decided to reserve my anger for only when it was useful. Even then it was problematic, because unleashing my anger selectively could work to achieve things, but it still made me feel terrible, hurt personal relationships and other people, and I felt like I lost control of myself.
Now I try to look at the reasons why I’m angry, what I can do about it, and put off acting on it until I’ve calmed down. Communicating without anger works as well or better than communicating through anger.
I don’t know if this is the right way to deal with it, but it mostly works for me. Sometimes anger still overtakes me and I stew in it, but I try to distract myself until it passes.