If you can eat a salad and then lay down without getting an explosion of acid reflux, maybe you aren’t old yet 😂

Why are we eating pizza in the bedroom

Flamin Hot Cheetos Mac and Cheese. Had to open all the windows to get the smell out

Meanwhile Euler was coming up with all this shit while being blind

I had Flash 5

Isn’t Vanguard 401ks? Or is that a different Vanguard?

Wait there’s a company called “Blackstone” as well as one called “Blackrock”, and both buy up real estate?

Rear fingerprint scanner PLEASE

*cleft

Butt crack is a cleft

I was going to say Glory to Rome but your answer is better.

“Now Chalmers did his head in you maroon” is a fairly humorous sentence on its own.

Nor at risk of a server misconfiguration leaking all the copies to random assholes

We’ll find out in 30 years

20% margin of error?

Beyonce’s net worth is $800 million, so not quite a billionaire.

Through the magic of “Trump doesn’t give a fuck”

Walk into class

Pull laptop out of bag, put it on the desk

Whip out mechanical keyboard

Mouse, small set of stereo speakers

Pull out a large object wrapped in a blanket

Everyone else watches confusedly

Take off blanket, unveiling a 28in monitor

Whip out power strip

Put power strip on the adjacent desk, no one is sitting there anyway

20ft extension cord

The outlet is on the far wall, run the extension cord between the desks

Apologize to everyone bumped into a long the way

Play World of Warcraft the entire time

Shhh, don’t tell them. It’s easier when they tell on themselves

I don’t think the word “master” is indicating quality though, just that it’s the “source” or “basis”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master_recordings