Like, the fact that dental insurance is separate and somehow more fucked up than regular medical insurance is enough evidence for me to want to go nuclear

Poseidon is real and he is very, very angry that we killed all the Cyclopses

brb, going back in time to devastate the Spanish with a series of wars against Portugal so that neither side has the capacity to colonize

But as a kindness, I will still bring potatoes and tomatoes to the Old World, but say that I found them in the ruins of Atlantis

It’s fucking true though

Putting shit in the hands of private insurance is fucking awful

I have what’s supposed to be bulletproof insurance, best you can get, nearly everything is covered 100%

I’m still waiting for my insurance to approve a CT scan for an issue with my kidneys

My doctor submitted it herself over two months ago after my post-surgical ultrasound (had my gallbladder removed and they were making sure everything was fine) showed what could be scarring or a cyst in my right kidney

I tried calling and they told me that their investigators still had to review the case

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DOUBLE-CHECK AGAINST MY DOCTOR‽ SHE SAID I NEEDED IT, FUCKING LET ME GET IN THE SCARY DONUT ALREADY

As someone with a real stutter, I don’t know

But I blame the Dark Wizzards

measure of justice

except with blood

I’m gonna teach the kids how to dumpsack properly

And if that doesn’t work, upgrade to a higher tier incendiary

I used to work at the Boys and Girls Club and it was such a fun job

I miss being able to run around with the kids, but it didn’t pay enough for me to live off of

Which is absolutely fucked when you think about it

I was responsible for educating, playing with and ensuring the safety of 20+ kids and they were paying 50 cents over minimum wage

It broke my heart to tell them that I was leaving, but it was either that or be trapped in debt and end up being buried in a pauper’s grave

I think a lot of people forget what it was like to be a kid

To just feel everything so much because everything is new and your brain is just this wad of rubber bouncing around like a bullet ricocheting off the inside of your skull

Like, yeah, I get it, it can be irritating sometimes, but have you ever just spent time with a kid?

To remember what it like when you could have fun just by running around and screaming?

God, kids are great

Tough Actin’ Tinactin!

Shuck it Trebek

Oh

This explains why all those people at the grocery store were giving me those looks

I’m a sandwich smasher

I will always press it down flat unless it would completely destroy the sandwich

But for most sandwiches, it makes them far more manageable

I would give them to you if i could

I don’t need a corset, my waist is already fairly trim and I have child-bearing hips

Not me, I’m more of a cloak wearer

Well, now I know where to start my one-man guerilla campaign of terror

Gonna go dumpsack their HQ

Don’t forget the weed smoking

Damn